Becoming a Better Man: Embracing Defeat, Conquering Grief, and Expressing Worth

Andres Paniagua
3 min readFeb 23, 2023

As men, we often measure our worth by external accomplishments such as career success, wealth, or physical prowess. However, true manhood is not just about what we have or what we do, but about who we are. In this article, we’ll explore three powerful insights that can help us become better men by embracing defeat, conquering grief, and expressing our true worth.

“Victory is sweetest when you have known defeat.”

As men, we are often conditioned to fear failure and to see it as a weakness. But the truth is, we can learn more from our failures than from our successes. When we experience defeat, we are forced to confront our weaknesses and limitations, and to develop resilience and determination in the face of adversity.

In fact, many of history’s most successful men have experienced crushing defeats before achieving their greatest victories. Abraham Lincoln, for example, suffered numerous political defeats before becoming one of America’s most revered presidents. Michael Jordan, widely regarded as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, was famously cut from his high school basketball team before going on to win six NBA championships.

Embracing defeat means recognizing that setbacks and failures are an inevitable part of life, and that they can serve as powerful opportunities for growth and self-improvement. By learning from our mistakes, facing our fears, and persisting in the face of adversity, we can become stronger, more resilient, and more successful men.

“It’s better to conquer grief than to deceive it.”

As men, we are often taught to suppress our emotions and to avoid vulnerability at all costs. However, this kind of emotional repression can be damaging to our mental and physical health, and can prevent us from forming deep and meaningful connections with others.

One of the most powerful emotions that men often struggle with is grief. Whether we are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a dream, grief can be a difficult and painful emotion to face. However, it is important to recognize that grief is a normal and natural part of the human experience, and that it is better to face it head-on than to try to suppress or deny it.

Conquering grief means acknowledging our pain, allowing ourselves to feel our emotions fully, and seeking support from others when we need it. This can be a difficult and humbling process, but it can also be a deeply healing and transformative one. By embracing our emotions, we can become more empathetic, compassionate, and emotionally intelligent men, and we can form deeper and more authentic relationships with those around us.

“It is not what he has, or even what he does which expresses the worth of a man, but what he is.”

Finally, it is important to recognize that true manhood is not defined by external achievements or possessions, but by our inner qualities and character. As the philosopher Aristotle once said, “Excellence is not an act, but a habit.”

Becoming a better man means cultivating inner qualities such as integrity, compassion, honesty, and courage. It means treating others with respect and kindness, standing up for what is right, and leading by example. It means being true to our values, even in the face of adversity, and striving to make a positive impact in the world.

Becoming a better man is not a destination, but a lifelong journey. By embracing defeat, conquering grief, and expressing our true worth, we can become more resilient, empathetic, and authentic men, and make a positive impact in the world around us. So let us embrace the challenges and opportunities that life presents us, and strive to become the best men we can be.